Saturday, October 23, 2010

Sexy Lady


Once again I am poaching a topic from Jan’s blog. (At this point we should just go on and create a joint one.)  To paraphrase:

Not a fan of The New Scooby Doo's "upgrade" of Velma. Velma doesn't need (nor would she want) fringy bangs, new glasses, or a bow in her hair!

I can’t help but read this and think about my friend, Nate’s, abhorrence at what he calls the slow sexification of Strawberry Shortcake.  He loves his alliterations, that Nate. 

Let’s just take a quick look at the evolution of an American (Greetings) icon:

 strawberry-shortcake1The first, and still the most delicious, incarnation



Lil’ miz Shortcake actually began as a greeting card character and then grew into the children’s cartoon.  Seen here in her ‘80’s incarnation with her beloved cat, Custard



2002 re-launch: Taking a page pagina from Dora the Explorer it appears



2009’s new Strawberry: Where is Custard?! Why are you lounging like that? And most importantly, WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY!?!?!?!?!?


If you keep going in this direction I fear this is your future:



DON’T DO IT, STRAWBERRY!!!!!!! You’re hair’s not even red any more you little tarte.  Pretty soon you’ll be sharing a jail cell with another high-profile former red-head *cough* La Lohan. *cough* (Yeah, still not fixed from the other day).  Was life in Berry Bitty City really that bad?

A few interesting side notes (as if I haven’t embarrassed myself enough):

  • My favorite pet from the franchise is Marza Panda, for obvious reasons. Deal with it Apple Ducklin
  • My favorite foreign version of the character is “Frangelica Dolcecuore” which I’m pretty sure translates to Strawberry Sweetheart but I also feel sounds like a really fantastic drink of the alcoholic persuasion
  • Nate does a pretty fabulous impersonation of the Peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak (told you he liked alliteration)


And, although it is unfortunately too late to save other classic children's characters like Rainbow Bright and a 2011 live-action/CGI Smurfs (full disclosure, I’ll see anything with Alan Cumming, Neil Patrick Harris or Modern Family’s Sofiya Vergara), I’m still holding out hope that they’ll keep their filthy paws off my Tail Spin!

Artist: Susan Graham/ Album: At Carnegie Hall


  1. ROTFL!
    I grew up with 80's Strawberry, no wonder it took me so long to learn how to dress.
    And, I agree. Neil and Sofyia?! I am so there...thankfully I have kids, so I actually really will be there. ;-)


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