Tear Stained Letter

 

Well it seems as if my recent apology about Pottery Barn not selling certain monogrammed glitter ornaments didn’t go over too well with Mrs. Jan Ingersoll, though to be honest I can’t really tell if she is more upset about her last initial being castrated from the retail shelf or the fact that she now has one less decorative item in her glitter menagerie. Not to mention the fact that Mallory (Yartym) has already thrown her woes into the ring. 

First a little back story.  Here is the initial post that prompted my “initial” post:

A Sit-Down with Hobby Lobby

Soooo, Hobby Lobby, let's have a little chat, shall we.

Now, you know I love you. You are truly one of my favorite stores. But I've got a real issue here. Besides having no reasonably priced flocked Christmas tress, (And by 'reasonably priced' I mean, priced where Jason wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary on the credit card bill so he wouldn't notice the new flocked tree hiding in the garage. And no, I'm not hiding spending money from him, I'm hiding the actual Christmas trees!) you have also blatantly discriminated against my kind.
And what would 'my kind' be exactly?

Frequent jazz hands user?
Fan of feathers and sparkles?
First one to suggest costumes for the slightest of occasions?

Well, yes.

But, Hobby Lobby, you have those demographics covered. 'The kind' I'm talking about are those of us with "I" last names. Because apparently, Hobby Lobby, you don't think we I-people are worthy enough to supply for.

Case and point:

Hummm.
What's that letter that seems to be missing? The letter that comes between 'H' and 'J'?
Oh that's right.

It's "I"!

I guess we I-people don't like decorative initial pumpkins.

Well that would be where you are wrong, Hobby Lobby. I would love a decorative initial pumpkin! And if it weren't for your amazing fabulosity in every other way, I'd be deciding who would be the recipient of my first phone call.

Nancy Grace? Geraldo? Gloria Allred?

Consider this your warning, Hobby Lobby. I'm watching you...and the prices of your flocked Christmas trees.

 

And here is her response to the news of Pottery Barn’s omission:

It Really is a Conspiracy!

Alrighty.

 

So this has now escalated to ridiculous.  And when I say 'ridiculous' I, of course, mean it should definitely be one of Wendy Williams' Hot Topics. (How you doin'?)

 

Remember my post about how Hobby Lobby refuses to supply products for us I People?  How I really wanted one of their cute, decorative, initial pumpkins (which were 75% off this week, BTW) but they didn't order any 'I's'. (After my post both my mother-in-law and my friend, Adrienne, went to the Hobby Lobbys by their homes and came up 'I' empty handed.  Adrienne even asked the manager and was told "we didn't order any I's...and lots of people have asked for them."

 

Well, that was just the tip of the iceberg, my friends!

Because I have the inside scoop on what's going on over at Pottery Barn.

Oh yeah, I do.

 

My opera-singing-boy-BFF, JD, works at Pottery Barn as a side gig, and just check out what was on his blog yesterday. 

 

To summarize:

Pottery Barn has been and will again be selling Glitter Letter Ornaments (a circular ornament with letters at the center) and there was a directive from the top with the following statement:

Glitter Letter Ornaments should be organized alphabetically in red shelf organizers. …

NOTE: Due to small projected sales, the following letters will not be produced: I, O, Q, U, X, Y, Z.

Um-hum.

 

So that puts you on my list too, PB.

Watch yourself.  I have a few phone calls to make.

 

Lord help us all if Michaels decides not to sell “I” engraved bunnies at Easter or someone will be going postal Hobby Lobby on their asses come spring time.

 

Artist: Johnny Cash/ Album: American IV- The Man Comes Around

(Other consideration: Mahalia Jackson’s “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen)