Look how much you've grown!
WHY SO SERIOUS!?!
This is the first time I met the little tyke... he's got his father's smile
Well, sir, you have finally reached the ripe old age of two, which, according to tradition, you have a responsibility to be terrible. We both know you are more mature than that, but I'm just letting you know that option is now on the table.
So here are some lessons I think you should start learning:
1. Don't share, it's overrated. If little Suzie wants those blocks you are playing with then she should have saved up her allowance or taken them from a weaker kid like you did.
2. Vegetables are for babies, and if I understand correctly your age will now be referred to in numbers of years instead of numbers of months, which basically makes you a pre-teen. So forget the food pyramid (not that "coat of many colors" new one, but the one with huge chunks of bread on the bottom.) <---bitter
3. You know, while I am on a tangent of a rant, here is lesson number three: Pluto is a planet. Deal with it modern day scientists. I mean, does this mnemonic device even make sense?: ""My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine." No, didn't think so... the word Pizza should be on the end of that. Well lookie here, we've come full circle back to carbs.
4. If you're going to lie, make sure you have a good memory. Nothing's worse than being caught in the middle of a fib.
5. Play an instrument. Studies have proven that being involved with music at an early age increases the likelyhood of being good at math, foreign languages, and picking up chicks later on down the road.
Well I would love to toss some more bon mots your way, but unfortunately my lunch break is ending and work beckons. I love you and hope you enjoy your present!!!! Be kind to you parents and, as long as you ignore basically everything I said here then you will turn out great!