Second Hand Rose

[via BoingBoing.com]

I know all y’all are probably recovering from a Valentines Day induced chocolate hangover, so I thought the Consumerists article on failed flower deliveries, aptly entitled Valentine’s Day Garden of Discontent, might lift your mood a bit.  Each year they compile a “…collection of flower or gift deliveries that aren't what the recipient had in mind—and sometimes aren't even close,” as the article states.

One year for mom’s birthday I had some tulips sent to her in Crockett and apparently the vase got broken somewhere along the way in transit— probably in Conroe.  (God I hate that place)  At any rate, she called them and just let them know it had happened and they were kind enough to send her another bouquet, thank goodness the flowers didn’t arrive looking anything like these!!

Included below are selections from both this year and years passed.

 

I paid almost $40 to ship $39 worth of flowers w/ guaranteed valentine's day delivery. Glad they showed up looking like this!

 

 

Well she got them and she was happy but something seemed off from her description of them. I said how did you like the Stargazer lilies (as she is getting Stargazers tattooed on her) when she said there were none.

Most ridiculous for last, of course!

 

My wife likes all things related to Curious George. So for Valentine's Day, I ordered her the "Crazy for You" package from 1800Flowers. I've attached an image of the package since it's no longer listed on their website. It comes with a plush monkey holding chocolates and a red rose, two red heart helium balloons, two helium balloons with "Crazy for You!" written on them, and a giant mylar balloon shaped like a monkey. I really wanted my wife to feel special, and I was picturing her walking through her office with all the balloons as she brought the gift back to her desk.

Well, she called me at 4:30 on Valentine's Day to thank me for sending her flowers. She said they were lovely - some tulips, a daisy, and some roses. I paused and asked her what she got. She told me she received a small red vase with about 7-8 flowers in it. That's it. No monkeys, no balloons, no candy. I called 1800Flowers to ask what happened. They told me that the florist asked if he could "substitute an equivalent product" to ensure delivery. Equivalent? See the attached photo of what I actually got, and tell me if that seems to be equivalent to you.

Upon viewing the photos, a friend of mine commented, "It's lovely ... but there is a distinct lack of monkey."

To their credit, they didn't even argue. I got a full refund plus a $20 credit on my next order.

Yeah ... somehow I don't think I'll be using that credit any time soon

Artist: Barbra Streisand/ Album: A Happening in Central Park