My Grown Up Christmas List

 

Much in the same vein as my 2012 New Apartment Housewarming Gift Registry Extravaganza, I present to those of you who have not yet crossed my name off your list (I’m talkin’ to you Senor Kringle) my Christmas 2012 White Wonderland of a Wishlist—let everyone cheer!!!!!!!

 

Bespoke British Baggage: As BoingBoing put it, this “gloriously impractical” luggage from Williams British Handmade is sure to draw attention at the baggage claim turnstyle.  (You know… because I’m sure people who can afford to even consider buying this stuff take care of their own bags.)

 

 

Booze Books!!: These sneaky little things from BenderBound are an alcoholic bibliophile’s wet-bar dream come true.  My only complaint—what… no Barenreiter?!?

 

 

Doctor Who goodies from ThinkGeek: I mentioned last year how the nerd inside me looks forward to the annual Doctor Who Christmas special every year.  Why not celebrate with a Tardis mug and Weeping Angels t-shirt!!

  

 

 

Sugru polymer clay and LEGOs: Just so you know, Catherine, this is how I will now be hanging all of the shows in the gallery!

 

 

SodaStream Water Carbonation Machine: Ever since I was quite young I have always loved sparkling water.  One of my favorite things about going to Europe is that, as opposed to in America, it’s quite ubiquitous over there.  My host family in Minden even had one of these machines and I probably went through a whole CO2 cartridge just on myself.

 

 

Look, I Made a Hat: Stephen Sondheim’s follow-up to last year’s Finishing the Hat, the combination of the two offering his entire collection of lyrics as well as anecdotes for his entire body of work.  Somebody puh-LEASE Sondheimize me this year!! (The video below explains it all if you aren’t familiar with Modern Family)

  

 

 

Stealth Toothbrush Sanitizer: Because let’s be honest, it’s the perfect companion to the fancy pantsy toothpaste squeezer I mentioned in the last registry.

 

 

And FINALLY, for a bit of a laugh… if you think this list is a bit hodge-podge then check out the holiday shopping list these guys came up with (as seen on BoingBoing):

I’m pretty sure a gallery just down the street would probably sell an oil painting of circus clowns storming Normandy Beach.

 

Artist: Aretha Franklin / Album: This Christmas

Every Day a Little Death

 

So apparently I’ve just given up on blogging, huh?  October of last year I made it a point to do a blog post a day… this month I’m up to a whopping three.  So, in order to get back in the biz, I’ve decided that since there is a little less than a week to Halloween I would feature an appropriately seasonally themed animated short a day until the 31st!

Our first installment, The Lady and the Reaper, is an Academy Award nominee (2009) and follows the tale of an elderly woman who is waiting for death in order to be reunited with her long passed husband.

The lady and the reaper from Hormoz Zamanpour Siahkal on Vimeo.

Why do they all talk like Sims characters?!?!

 

Artist: Stephen Sondheim/ Album: A Little Night Music

June is Bustin’ Out All Over

 

My friend Kyle showed this to me quite a while ago and I’ve been waitin’ for June first to roll around ever since! Poor Leslie Uggams does the best she can for not knowing the words to the song.  (P.S.- I saw her do Desiree Armfeld in A Little Night Music with Detroit Opera Theater.  [P.P.S.- I was a little sad that was the first time I saw the production live]).

 

“Just because it’s June, June, JOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!”

Artist: Richard Rogers, Oscar Hammerstein II/ Album: Carousel

Gun Song

 

Yet again I am pilfering from BoingBoing but I saw this today and just can’t get over how ridiculous these guns are. Forget the watch… you can put these at the top of my wishlist!

 

Artist: Stephen Sondheim/ Album: Assassins

May We Entertain You

 

I was saddened to hear this morning that entertainment legend Arthur Laurents, most widely known for his work on Gypsy and West Side Story, passed away yesterday. ( Playbill.com has a great retrospective of his career and of the man himself here.) In addition to writing he also directed many productions on the Great White Way, including the 2008 Patti LuPone helmed revival of Gypsy.

So… in memory of him, here is La LuPone buh-belting out Everything’s Coming Up Roses from the Tony awards broadcast:

I had the pleasure of seeing Patti perform at Hill auditorium last year when I was still a student at the University of Michigan.  And by pleasure I mean I sat 4 rows from her!!  Not that this is news to anyone, but biscuit is a BEAST… I have no idea how she does what she does but I’m in awe of her nonetheless.

Oddly enough, Catherine and I were talking about the now infamous performance of Gypsy when she stopped a performance mid-song in order to chew out an audience member who was taking pictures.

Who do you think you ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Artist: Julie Styne, Stephen Sondheim/ Album: Gypsy

Color and Light

 

In honor of this, my 200th post, I thought I would kill a couple of birds (and redeem myself as a good Texan) with one post.

It’s new header time!!!

In honor of Texas Independence Day, which I missed on March 2, we are looking at the work of Austin resident Trey Ratcliff, specialist in High Dynamic range (HDR) photography and creator of Stuck in Customs, a blog devoted to his pictures and the process he uses to make them.  What is HDR photography exactly?  A dry definition, courtesy of wikipedia, explains it thusly:

[…] set of techniques that allow a greater dynamic range of luminance between the lightest and darkest areas of an image than current standard digital imaging techniques or photographic methods. This wide dynamic range allows HDR images to more accurately represent the range of intensity levels found in real scenes, ranging from direct sunlight to faint starlight.

It’s a bit easier to see the difference, however:

According to the photographer “… it was shot about two hours outside of Austin in a little town called Brady.  You’d like it.  They have a Sonic there.”  Omg I WOULD like it!

 

In fact, Trey’s picture of Fourth of July fireworks over Lake Austin was the first ever HDR image to be shown in the Smithsonian Institution.  Not too shabby, eh?

 

A shout out to my Savannah relatives!

 

“I found this beauty salon one evening when driving between Houston and Austin. It was just sitting there, all neglected…. and I felt like someone needed to pay attention to it, so I did for a short while.”  By the way, I’d totally get my hair did there.

 

“A Sea of Glass- The Chihuly Exhibit at the Belagio” God, I could go for some Skittles about now

 

In a weird way, this is kind of how I see the world… or at least how I try to see it.  If it’s gonna be in color, then why not Technicolor, right!? It’s certainly no wonder that some of the movies I have recommended previously (Amelie, The Fall) are skewed through a similar lens.  Even before I saw some of Trey’s work I would photoshop my pictures trying to evoke not necessarily what the camera saw, but the image I remembered, ambiance and all.  Two examples from my D.C. trip:

 

Before           and                       After

 

Don’t get me wrong… I’m not even beginning to try and compare myself to the above. For one, my camera consists of, well, my phone. While they may turn out relatively well for small proportioned blog usage, their nowhere NEAR Smithsonian standards. Photography is the one medium of visual art that I think I might even have the capability of doing well, and this style has certainly intrigued me.  So forget that watch (because I’m sure some of you were juuuuust about to buy it for me)… daddy wants a CAMERA!!!

Oh, and speeeaaaaaking of photography, I thought this would be the perfect time to announce that tomorrow I am starting my new job as Assistant Director at the John Cleary Gallery!!!!!  (You may recall I have posted about it ummmm here and here and here and here ad infinitum… … …) I’ll actually be the one to read about this in a GoogleAlert email tomorrow at work :)

That’s right, baby, I can now check something off of my list of life “to-do’s”!!!  It’s not ever really been something I’ve talked about, but I’ve always thought it would be the most glamorous thing to work in a gallery.  Which just goes to show—blog about something enough and who knows where it’ll lead!!! (It maybe also helps to know the owner?)  It’s just a three month stint until I head away to Europe again this summer, but I am going to revel every. single. day of it!

PLEASE DON’T FIRE ME!!!

Artist: Stephen Sondheim/ Album: Sunday in the Park with George

The Ladies Who Lunch

 

Deciding that a change of pace from the museums and monuments of the Mall was in order, Mary Anne and David took me out to Old Town Alexandria for lunch at one of their favorite restaurants.  On the way we passed the Masonic Temple where George Washington was once a member!

 

Reminiscent of an old-school European café, Le Pain Quotidien was the PERFECT choice for a lazy Saturday afternoon brunch.  I live for eateries such as these!!! (Yes, I used the word “eatery”… get over it).

 

The upstairs dining area had a gigantic “family style” table set up where we sat and dined on fabulous French-inspired food.

“Damnit, we’re out of Pledge AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Why in God’s name did they made this table so long!”

My tuna tartine with hummus, white beans, tomatoes and basil pesto. 

 

(While we’re on the subject of hummus… Washington D.C. was actually the first place I ever had what has now come to be one of my favorite foods.  We were staying at Jim and Ginny’s brownstone during our first [I think] visit to the city and Ginny told me something you are never supposed to tell a fat kid: “anything in the fridge is yours if you want it!”  I found a container of it and my taste buds have never been the same since.)

Rockin’ my Starter jacket

 

Mary Anne had already warned taunted me about their hot chocolate, so naturally I ordered me a buh-big mug full of cacao and soy milk goodness.

Normally I’d say that the “J” was an intentional initial shout-out for Joseph, but this time it was purely coincidental

Worry not, Mary Anne and David weren’t about to miss out on any of the action.

Don’t even THINK about touching my cappuccino!!!

Artist: Stephen Sondheim/ Album: Company

Mad World

So some reason I failed to get this up after Jennifer, Patty and I went to go see Houston Grand Opera’s newest production of Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor.  Better late than never, right?!

Lucia, as it’s generally referred to in the biz, is one of those TOP 10 shows that companies around the world can always pull out and sell out.  In short, Lucia is in love with some dude but her brother has promised her to another dude for money and stuff.  She is forced to marry dude #2 and on their wedding night goes buh-crazy, murders him and attends  their reception in a blood covered wedding dress (this is known appropriately enough as Lucia’s “Mad Scene.” Basically it’s what people come to the opera to see—and do a little judging of the soprano in the process).   Oh… and dude #1 kills himself in the end.  Who said opera was boring??? There’s not a typhoid infected lead in the bunch!

“Ummm ma’am, you got a little something on your blouse there…” (Projection from the HGO lobby)

 

I was actually very excited for this particular production because it was directed by John Doyle, who spearheaded the productions of Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd and Company in which the actors were the orchestra (Patti LuPone playing the tuba anyone?)  Too bad he couldn’t seem to elicit the same kind of biting performances on the operatic stage. 

I can’t help but watch Lucia’s mad scene without thinking of the The Fifth Element where the Diva performs (the “opera” portion before all that crazy 27 octave techno cacophony in the movie is a portion of the longer mad scene).  One of the first mixed CD’s I ever received had the movie version on it, the irony being that my friend who made the CD, Jamie, introduced it thusly: “Now, I know you don’t like opera but….”

 

I was reminded I hadn’t put any of this up yet when a co-worker (whose daughter is an undergrad music student at the University of Houston) said she had seen Lucia at HGO and kept chuckling all throughout the stunning sextet because all she could think about was Disney’s Willie the Whale Who Wanted to Sing Opera.  I had never even heard of it so of course I went and watched it on my break.  The plot line is pretty self-explanitory: So there’s this whale who wants to sing opera… Nelson Eddy, operetta star of the highest order, IS the entire cast.  He reads as the narrator, voices each character, and sings all of the music (which, in addition to the the Lucia sextet, also includes Boito, Rossini and Wagner!!!) Certainly opera and cartoons have been paired before, most notably What’s Opera, Doc? and The Bugs Bunny Opera, but how on earth did I miss this one?!

 

O. M.G!

Artist: Gary Jules/ Album: Donnie Darko

I would be absolutely remiss if I didn’t include any “actual” clips from the opera, so if you have about 20 minutes to spare, PLEASE watch Natalie Dessay perform the mad scene.  I try to refrain from putting up too many opera clips because I understand a lot of you may not even watch them.  Dessay—who for my money is one of the most stunning operatic actresses out there—gives an amazing performance (A French translation of an Italian opera set in Scotland!!) of an amazing aria.  Just consider it your culture for the week, and if you can only muster just the first half then I’ll give you a pass.

Enter crazy, stage left: (Oh, and I guess I need to slap a NSFW label on clip 2/2 due to the bewb action at 4:55)

 

   

THE ARISTOCRATS!!!!

Soldiers’ Gossip

 

So I’m not sure if you heard, but on Christmas day the General encountered a bit of combat on the road and ended up losing a transmission in battle.  After a (not so speedy) rush to the doctor in Crockett the old warhorse is driving better than ever.  Plus, he even had some minor plastic surgery under the hands of my dad, who did an awesome job cleaning him.  And when I say “minor” I actually mean “major,” because I know how much dirt was on that floor.

Dad: “Did you know you have several license plates under the back seat.”

Me: “Huh? Oh yeah… it’s the Ballenger in me.  I’m contemplating maybe do something with them one day?”

Plus, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but apparently the rims of my tires were made of metal and not some hardened, clay-like substance.

So clean you could eat off them!! (Though, to be honest, I wouldn’t.  I think I ran over a possum on the way back)

 

[As a side note, this picture reminds me of one of Jennifer and me in Chicago at the Cloud Gate in Millennium Park.]

 

 

Aaaaanyway, the drive back was just lovely and there was quite a sunset to gaze at along the way!

 

 

 

 

Artist: Steven Sondheim/ Album: Passion

Have an Eggroll, Mr. Goldstone

 

My non-traditional traditional feast Christmas Eve continued with the choir members of the Holy Spirit Episcopal Church in between our 6:00 and 10:30 services.  Because there are a couple of hours to spare betwixt the two, some of the choristers go out to eat at a Chinese restaurant just around the corner from the church.

You know the Chinese and their traditional Christmaspalms… THEY LOVE THEM!!

 

 

I also snagged a couple of pictures of the sanctuary and organ:

  

 

A little pre-game action in the locker-room and on the field:

  

 

And finally a group shot of the other soloists and our fearless leader, Stephen:

(You may remember Molly and Julia from an earlier post about their opera production at U of H!)

 

Artist: Jule Styne, Stephen Sondheim/ Album: Gypsy