Since my friend Jan recently posted about Junior High, I figured you might enjoy these! I saw funnyexam.com mentioned on the most recent Graham Norton Show and thought that anyone who has ever given a test or taken a test (so you know, everyone) could appreciate it. The site is a collection of exams, homework, detention slips, etc. that teachers and administrators have uploaded because of funny answers or drawings.
For my dad-- the PRESIDENT of the Texas Dental Association. By the way... props to the teacher who gave the student +2!
Where's a good pair of parachute pants when you need them?
Ugh, there's nothing worse than a liberal, doe-eyed sea creature proselytizing about the abject horrors of Global Warming. So instead of "my dog ate my homework" it's now "some walrus inhabited my homework"? Listen buddy, take your cockamamie hoo-haw science some other place besides my math assignment, ya hear???!!! (Speaking of homework... there is no way in hell I spelled "proselytizing" without having to do a little research of my own. Yay dictionary.com for quick speling checks!)
For my brother, who probably has more hair than I do :(
For me?
For Kelley... THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!
And of course the best for lassssssst:
Oh puh-lease. The "I actually work at Home Depot and I was selling the last snow shovel" is the oldest story in the book.
Wwwwwell hello folks, I've finally bit the proverbial bullet and started a blog (and you all's knows I don't like thinning out my stockpile of ammunition). I have been contemplating this for a while, but in all honesty don't really think my day to day life is all that interesting. No.... seriously, though.
Then I had the idea about starting a blog and having it titled "Letters to my Nephew," on which would be a collection of letters to my 17 month old nephew, but I'm not quite sure any of my advice would be good. Or age appropriate. Orrrrrr legal?
Part of the problem is that I am already worried about consistency...as in, updating persistently enough that people will keep reading. Nothing's worse than frequenting a blog and seeing that same, sad post about a trip to the apple orchard in the fall. COME ON! The tulips are blooming, the least you could do is tell me what you got for Christmas!! Of course I'm being a bit hyperbolic. I suppose there are worse things: locking your keys in the car, burning your toast in the morning, and running out of toilet paper (you know... ... ... when you need it the most). Now THAT'S the worst. Oh yeah, and warfamineracismredheadsagonypestilencedeathtyranny. Honestly, though, haven't we at least gotten rid of pestilence by now?
The one thing that seems to be a constant in my life is that I am perpetually ub-sessed with new things. Movies, TV, books (pictures, not words of course), music, architecture and every other form of glittery indulgence that falls under the PopCulture umbrella. An umbrella that is most likely made by Prada. And by Prada I unfortunately mean Target.
SO, for my inaugural post I wanna talk about beginnings. More specifically, how ub-sessed I am with television title sequences. Following are just a couple of favorites that I resist the urge to fast forward thru on the DVR. I'll stick to current shows, as there is a litany of choices from years past. Bewitched anybody?
Archer:
First of all, any show with Jessica Walters automatically deserves a place on my DVR. Nobody plays boozy, brassy socialites like ol' Jessie. Well, her and Nathan Lane. Besides that, though, this opening sequence is by far my favorite. Deal with it, Bond. Scroll down a fourth of a way to watch. If interested in further perusal on the subject, the linked blog also looks at title sequences from both movies and television in fascinating detail.
Parks and Recreation:
This jaunty, rural-sounding theme song make me want to volunteer for trash pick up at the Arb. It reminds me of boy scouts, the outdoors, fresh air, melanoma, second degree burns from ungodly hot playground slides. Well, not so much "reminds me of" but "fits into my notion of what those things might be."
Russ | MySpace Video
I love this mostly because it makes no sense and ESPECIALLY because... it makes absolutely no sense.
30 Rock:
The sequence, with music by Tina Fey's husband, clocks in at a crowd-pleasing 18 seconds-- just 6 seconds more than Lost, which oddly enough seems to last four times as long. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but a catchy theme song and the inclusion of Judah Friedlander blows the tepid charcoal and white floating letters of Lost out of the water. . . Just like their plane. HEYO!
The United States of Tara
Because... who doesn't love a good animated pop-up sequence. PS, if you're not watching this show, download/rent the first season, watch it, tune in for the season 2 premiere this next Monday. DO IT!
So there you have it. Thanks for attending my first blog post EVER!!! There is punch and cookies outside, and please leave your programs at the door for future performances. I can't promise extremely frequent posts, or that they'll be good, or that you'll leave feeling satisfied in any way...
