Soooooooo… I was just watching last night’s Modern Family on Hulu and this amazing 3:00+ of confectionary advertising came on!
SUCK ON IT 
!!!
When I was living in Waco there were several several options for H.E.B.’s (referred to as HEEBs at Baylor, a school where the majority of its Southern Baptist students, unsurprisingly, don’t realize that sounds exactly the same as the anti-Semitic slur hebe, a derogatory abbreviation for Hebrew) and depending on your needs you would go to a different one. The ghetto-HEEB was for quick necessities only, as it was the smallest but closest to campus. The GAP-HEEB (not quite as good as Banana Republic, not quite as bad as Old Navy) was your mid-range option, whereas the Taj Ma-HEEB was where you wanted to go for your finer cheeses, wines, etc. Just as I was leaving they finished the Barn-HEEB, which, shockingly enough, looks a bit like a barn.
When I moved to Ann Arbor, a HEEB-less town with a surprisingly high Jewish population, I was confronted with the Meijer chain. Being a good Texan I automatically tried to pronounce the name like it was spanish and turned the “j” into an “h.” My friend Mason said when he first drove to Michigan for Blue Lake his GPS system would pronounce the “j” as a “dg” as in “Joseph.” However, the correct pronunciation—for those of you still tuned in—is of course “j” as in “y.”
And thus concludes todays episode of…
Artist: Mel Brooks/ Album: The Producers
