Cabaret

 

And now for something entirely non-holiday related… I watched Blazing Saddles for the first time the other day (well, the first time in my “adult life” where I could actually get the humor), and for some reason I had no idea that Madeline Kahn had a cabaret number in the movie.  Some of you may remember my love for her in a previous post about Clue: The Movie.  For her performance as Lili von Shtupp she was nominated for an Academy Award.  (And to be clear Oscar nominations for comedies, especially Mel Brooks comedies, are basically non-existent). Unfortunately none of the videos of her cabaret performance, “I’m So Tired” are available for embedding but you can follow this link to see it on youtube!

 

Since we’re on the subject of cabaret music, and since it is dreadfully grey and rainy outside, I thought I would put up a couple of my other cabaret favorites.  Given my love for the genre I could fill several blog posts with clips but I figure most of you didn’t even follow the first link so I won’t clutter you’re browser up with too many other ones.

Last year when I was doing auditions in New York I was staying with my friend Jamison, and as a thank you for housing me I took him to see German-born (aren’t they all) cabaret singer Ute Lemper at Joe’s Pub.  Basically it was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to.

(Not from Joe’s Pub, btw)

 

As long as we are talking about Jamison, here is his favorite Kurt Weill song as sung by the immeasurably talented Teresa Stratas.

Biscuit be CRAY CRAY!

The lyrics are too good and too depressing not to put up as well:

It was almost to the end of the world
That my wandering boat
Straying at the will of the waves
Led me one day
The isle is very small
But the kind fairy that lives there
Invites us
To take a look around

Youkali
Is the land of our desires
Youkali
Is happiness, pleasure
Youkali
Is the land where we forget all our worries
It is in our night, like a bright rift
The star we follow
It is Youkali

Youkali
Is the respect of all vows exchanged
Youkali
Is the land of love returned
It is the hope
That is in every human heart
The deliverance
We await for tomorrow

Youkali
Is the land of our desires
Youkali
Is happiness, pleasure
But it is a dream, a folly
There is no Youkali

And life carries us along
Tediously, day by day
But the poor human soul
Seeking forgetfulness everywhere
Has, in order to escape the world
Managed to find the mystery
In which our dreams burrow themselves
In some Youkali

Youkali
Is the land of our desires
Youkali
Is happiness, pleasure
Youkali
Is the land where we forget all our worries
It is in our night, like a bright rift
The star we follow
It is Youkali

Youkali
Is the respect of all vows exchanged
Youkali
Is the land of love returned
It is the hope
That is in every human heart
The deliverance
We await for tomorrow

Youkali
Is the land of our desires
Youkali
Is happiness, pleasure
But it is a dream, a folly
There is no Youkali

But it is a dream, a folly
There is no Youkali

 

Finally, so as not to leave you too utterly despondent, here is a charming parody of cabaret music by the British comedy troupe, Fascinating Aida, that my friend Jeremy introduced me to.  It’s basically a road map on how to sing this style of music absolutely correctly.

Artist: John Kander, Fred Ebb/ Album: Cabaret

At the dark end of the street

Move over, Oprah, there's a new book club in town!!!! And by "book club" I of course mean "I-don't-actually-read-books-and-just-watch-a-lot-of-movies-and-television-,-some-of-which-might-happen-to-be-based-on-books." Whew... looks like I've used my hyphen allotment for the day week.  It's okay though, because I have a fellow non-reader whommm's intelligence I admire and can justify my not reading because she's smart.  That makes sense, right? 

For the inaugural selection it may not surprise a lot of you that I have chosen Clue, my absolute favorite movie!  It is the one constant gauge I use to judge whether or not I should be friends with someone, and only one person has gotten away with not liking it; I excuse him only because he grew up on a farm and doesn't know any better.  It is also the only movie ever to be based upon a classic board game.  Well, until those bastard step-triplets Monopoly, Battleship, and (I'll admit it, this one sounds fabulous) Candy Land come out.  Unfortunately, those are in fact legitimate films now in production... but needless to say: Clue was the first, and from the looks of it, will still be the best.  That is, unless they hire Meryll Streep to play the old leather boot.  The Oscars just LOVE a rags to riches story. 

Side note- Did you know that Clue, originally called Cluedo in it's native United Kingdom, changed the character of Reverund Green to Mr. Green when translating for American audiences because there was an objection to even the chance that a man of the cloth would have something to do with a (hypothetical) murder?  Yeah, didn't think so.

Yet I digress.  The plot is basically what you would expect: people go to a ominously dark mansion, there's a bunch of murders, blah blah blah secret passage ways, candle sticks, etc.  What makes it such a great movie is the stellar ensemble cast: Madeline Kahn (Mrs. White), Christopher Lloyd (Professor Plumb), Tim Curry (the butler), Lesley Ann Warren (Miss Scarlet), Eileen Brennan (Mrs. Peacock), Michael McKean (Mr. Green), Martin Mull (Colonel Mustard), and Colleen Camp (the maid).

I have seen this movie more times than I can count, but I first watched it (and then rewatched and rewatched) with my brother when we were younger.  The part that always got me then was when the singing telegram girl gets shot:

(Hopefully this isn't where my career is headed)

Since then I have owned the movie in all its various incarnations... VHS, DVD, digital download from iTunes, and finally on my iPod.  At one point, my friends Will and Clinton and I would watch it over and over, just focusing on one character the whole movie through.  And yes, somehow I have managed to get three degrees in the process!  I have watched it so many times that it is among the few movies I can quote large sections of.  Sections like these:

(MMMMM... omlets)

(Just listen to those suspenders pop!)

Mr. Green: Who would wanna kill the cook?

Miss Scarlet: Dinner wasn't that bad.
Colonel Mustard: How can you make jokes at a time like this?
Miss Scarlet: It's my defense mechanism.
Colonel Mustard: Some defense, if I was the killer, I would kill you next.
Miss Scarlet: Oh?
[Everyone looks at Colonel Mustard]
Colonel Mustard: I said, "if," "IF!"

Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Miss Scarlet: Oh, come on, you don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick?
Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the Study; two for the chandelier; two at the Lounge door and one for the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Uh-uh, there was only one shot that got the chandelier. That's one plus two plus *one* plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus *two* plus one plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Okay, fine. One plus two plus one... Shut up! The point is, there is one bullet left in this gun and guess who's gonna get it!

Mr. Green: [to Miss Scarlet] So, how did you know Colonel Mustard works in Washington? Is he one of your clients?
Colonel Mustard: Certainly not!
Mr. Green: I was asking Miss Scarlet.
Colonel Mustard: [to Miss Scarlet] Well, you tell him it's not true.
Miss Scarlet: It's not true.
Professor Plum: [to Miss Scarlet] Is that true?
Miss Scarlet: No, it's not true.
Mr. Green: Ah ha! So it is true!
Wadsworth: A double negative!
Colonel Mustard: A double negative?
[whispering]
Colonel Mustard: You mean you have photographs?
Wadsworth: That sounds like a confession to me. In fact the double negative has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Colonel Mustard: [angry, to Wadsworth] Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?
Wadsworth: You don't need any help from me, sir.
Colonel Mustard: That's right!


I could probably go on like this for a while but it might be easier-- and probably more entertaining-- for you to just rent the damn movie.  Plus, it has three different endings!!!  When the movie was first released theatrically, depending on which theater you went to, you would get a different ending, just as if you were playing the game. C'aint nobody say that about Fargo.  Like, what if it were Jerry Lundegaard, in the dealer lot, with a tire iron instead of Gaear Grimsrud, by the lake, with a woodchipper?  Doesn't exactly have the same ring as Miss Scarlet, in the study, with the revolver.  Apparently a fourth ending was scripted and filmed but never made it into the movie because it clashed with the comedic nature of the movie.  Must have been horrifying!

Oh... and I also recently read that Universal Studios is set to film a re-make of the movie, which will most likely be horrible and cast Jessica Simpson as the maid. Gore Verbinski, of Pirates of the Caribbean directorial fame, is said to helm.